Sirius

There is no star tonight..
The rain still falling embracing the loneliest feeling to keep it cold..
If I don't let it flow, then I crash and break into pieces..
Cause when it rain..
I can't see you shining brightly in the night sky..
I'm just longing for you tonight..
Watching you sleep and hear you breathing.
Laying beside you and listening to your voice.
Hold the black hole behind your window.
But I can't see you my sirius.
The summer has gone and I'm still waiting for you at the dawn..
Your smile,
Your kiss,
Makes me weak and blind.
This room is empty and I'm alone now.
I don't need the rain,
Even I love to walk away under the rain, but not without you..
I just need you..
I need you now..
Please don't go away..

Like love (30, August 2010)

Paint the colorless landscape.
Like a twilight sings lullaby.
And I will show you what's love brings to tame us..
Like love in the love like you and I..

From the moon to the sound of footsteps.
I just don't want to be hurt anymore.
Come and get close with me like love without a sound.
Take my hand then give me the love like..

I've been loosing the pieces of my soul.
And I've been suffering without the love like poison in the wine.
But I love to feel this way more than I do...

My life is my fairytale

My life is my fairytale. Something that hard to understand why it is and what it should be..
In every story's writes and tale is tells, My world grows alive..
Imagination in every move I see..
Not such withered flowers in funeral..
But the beautiful dreams that everyone wants become real..
Where the stars falling from the sky and all your wishes come true..
There is no pain..
No tears fall down from hazel eyes..
No wounds that break your heart apart...
But it's just a dream..
Just an illusion..
That fades into breaking dawn..
Help me to breathing...
This wonderful life is only come behind the shadow..
Under the light..
Under my pillow..

But My life is my fairytale. The tragic real life and a beautiful nightmare..
Doesn't it sound like a lullaby ??
Where you always could see the rainbow.
"Somewhere over the rainbow"
that's what he said..
What I want today is just to know that it's just a dream..
Then I wake up to see how beautiful landscape full of blooming flowers..
In my castle..
In my kingdom..
With the prince of my heart...
But that's only a dream..
And will never ever come true.
And about how the ending...
what I know is..
My life is my fairytale...

Valium

Goodnight to you, forgiving my endless torments,
I want you right here ease this pain.
Close your eyes, feel my frail heart screaming to you.

I beg redemption my valium.
Don’t keep on tempting me my valium.
My dry eyes could cry no more.
Give me back my reality out of my sleep.

Goodnight to you, buried alive by love.
This softly touch and tenderness embrace.
But I need to live without you.

My Dearest Aiedail

Dear the brightest star,
I don’t know who you are, even just your name.
Can’t you stay tonight for me?
For the love in my heart is only for you.
And the brightest star,
Would you be my lonely star?
Because I’m the lonely moon in the lonely night,
Would you keep my heart and not let me pale?

How can I leave the night when whisper falls from you?
And do I think of you when the sun comes at horizon.
A lullaby tells softly, but I won’t sleep,
Just to shine beside you in my lonely nights.

Gloomy Sunday [Suicide Song]

Sunday is gloomy
My hours are slumberless
Dearest the shadows
I live with are numberless
Little white flowers
Will never awaken you
Not where the black coach
Of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought
Of ever returning you
Would they be angry
If I thought of joining you
Gloomy Sunday

Sunday is gloomy
With shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided
To end it all
Soon there'll be flowers and prayers
That are said I know
But let them not weep
Let them know
That I'm glad to go
Death is no dream
For in death I'm caressing you
With the last breath of my soul
I'll be blessing you
Gloomy Sunday


Dreaming
I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you asleep
In the deep of my heart dear
Darling I hope
That my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you
How much I wanted you
Gloomy Sunday
Gloomy Sunday

simply death

Those eyes close at the gloomy sun.
She had loose her feeling.
She is just lays while her eyes watching the dark.
Silently she lost in the stillness.
Her heart turns to cold, but what can I do ?
And the tenderness on her smiles, ignoring all the pain for everything she left before.

Wandering in the unknow world, when everything turn upside down.
Far from my room I’m alone and lost.
All I need is you to take me into the undying light.
Close to the flame of the love that burning brightly.
I close my eyes and I can't feel my heart.
I hear they breathe and weep far from me.
I can feel the warm touch of the forlorn heart.
And All I need is you to safe me from the pain that can’t be heal.

But the rain won’t stops falling.
And my heart needs to be awake and feels the summer.
Does her heart needs too, doesn’t it ?

beautiful death

dear my forlorn life...
how's your life today ? what a wonderful pain lives inside your heart.
she still crying behind the mirror.
I'm tormented by the wounds that never heal.
By the pain of your embrace,
This fragile love makes me afraid to feel you far from me..
I love you from the inside and it completely my soul...

Julie's Nightmare

tick tock...
the clock is 9 now.
and the fear touch softly, sending shiver down my spine.
the darkest feeling which dwells in my heart, going strong..
and the shadows behind my footsteps seem laughing to me..
oh my morning star, I don't want to sleep to embrace the nightmare...
not to adore you, but I'm longing for the peaceful feeling..
in the silent with you, I'm alive with your love..
I know it will come, but I never expected that one into my life..
dear my morning star..
I lost inside my visions....
Lost in the realm of darkness again !
The spell chaining my soul without you I won't be free.........

Falling

I think I’m falling away from where I belong.
This all is just the emptiness waiting deep down bellow for me.
The last song that I heard, was from you,
You said “it would be alright”
But no I’m not.

At the day you left me,
I’m falling into the gloom,
Where it’s turns into triple sixes,
There is nothing left here,
Just the pieces of our fragile memories,
And now I’m falling…

And promises just only words of your lies
Can’t you just sit and listen to my deepest wounds.
Close to the devil counting time,
I’m not feel better..

At the day you left me,
I’m falling into the gloom
Where it’s turn into triple sixes,
There is nothing left here,
Just the pieces of our fragile memories,
And no I fall…

And when I wake I wish is just a dream,

Innocent

Remembering to the time when the truth in silence,
I saw the kind of the world from the innocent eyes.
A sweet candy with the softly touch.
There is no reason to fear from the gloom.

Rainbow all over me, and the unanswered questions,
I love all the things around me.
Dream a fairy tales, like a princes in castle,
I love all the things around me.

Its taste like a sweet poison in a vein,
More I want, it kills me slowly.
And the desire cage the conscience
I take all what darkness gives.

Lies all over me and the greedy world,
Dreams a painful life, I see in mirror ball,
And how I long for the candy kind things,
I miss that innocent.
I hate all the things around me.

Lucky Thing

That is true if you want me to.
To be like what you want,
To throw me away whenever you want,
And the lust which dwells inside,
Grows like a hungry beast.
The dramatic scene begin,
At the time between live and death.

Swallow everything in this world and you will find something wonderful.
It can be the inferno in your heart or wonderful heaven.
Show me the truth, don’t hang me like you need me, but you don’t.
I need the truth cause all I see is you.

And when you go somewhere else,
Then you find something makes you died.
Is there a lucky thing for you ?
Or you regret cause you not…

Swallow everything in this world yet and you can’t find something wonderful.
It can be the inferno in your heart or wonderful heaven.
Show me the truth, don’t hang me like you need me, but you don’t.
I need the truth cause all I see is you.

And when the sorrow lives inside your heart,
I’ll be the rainbow coloring yours.
And when you need me, I’ll always there.
Like inferno and heaven always together.

another life

Different way different story,
Another soul different mind,
Let me think of what we have done.
This cruel world always leaves us alone.

Why not me, why is you.
Why not us, always we,
Do we die together, to get what we have before.

Through our live,
The holy ghost beneath the soul,
Take us back into the love that we long for

I dream the dream about us.
In somewhere of bliss,
Together we hold this,
But not real life, like this.

the last letter

Leaves fallen down and flower withered into dust.
A death letter falls from heaven to the hell where the beauty is easy to find.
With the lies beneath your eyes, I can’t see what I want to see.
It becomes difficult without that single word.

Reason,
The warm embrace from you I need to know.
Why we’ve falling down into the unknow way.
It keeps me away from the logical think of mine.
I need to know

The answer is just the whisper from the angel.
Bring the sad story for the unholy man.
I want to keep you near me, to say what your heart feels,
to take us back into consciousness feeling.

Love
The sweet whisper from you I need to know.
Why you keep asking me without that single word.
It keeps me away from the logical think of mine.
I need to know

Well I’m waiting for the angel brings the later for me.
And you know it’s true I have a feeling for you.
And I need to know……

Close To The Flame - HIM

The kiss sweetest
And touch so warm
The smile kindest
In this world so cold and strong

So close to the flame
Burning brightly
It won't fade away
And leave us lonely

The arms safest
And words so good
The faith deepest
In this world so cold and cruel

So close to the flame
Burning brightly
It won't fade away
And leave us lonely

Hesitate

Far from deep inside my heart, I feel a hesitation.
The way you touch me..
The way you look at me..
Ruin all the silence around me.
so why don't you tell me what your heart feels..
the way we close like butterflies fly high up..
and I alone now without you with the hesitation in my heart.

I'm crying

I see the dark clouds over your eyes again.
No such a wonderful pain when it ruins your world.
You could stay to see them laughing while you draw the sky blend to grey.
She is crying...
She is hurting...
But the tears won't stop running.
Like a beast astray, starve and so alone.
Wishing someone's hear my scream.
But the rain and drizzle never come together.
I'm screaming..
I'm tearing, you down.
Leaving the pain behind.
And when the wind whispers, it never can't be real.
But how could we be together, if it doesn't real.
She is crying..
She is hurting..
And I want to not crying somehow.
I'm screaming..
I'm tearing you down..
Leaving the pain behind.

The Green Land

I love this moment.. When the cold breeze blows my hair..
Where the dawn as cold as you..
This evergreen land gives me the love from everyone here..
The warm smile with the innocent eyes gazing deeper to my heart..
She is smiling with no worries..
A little girl with a thousand dreams makes me think of you..
Remembering me to the time when I was young..
Just three days with you.. I feel better to face the cruel life..
With her innocent eyes I see the world..
I see the truth heading in my eyes..
And everythings are going right..
Know I believe that I can run faster than before..
Today, is the last moment I see the blue sky in this evergreen..
The song of farewell will be singing among a thousand feelings...
Thank's to you..
Thank's to you my dear..
I'm going home now..
I'm going home and bring a thousand stories to tell...


-Memorable moment with lovable peoples at the green pangalengan-
26-28 February 2010

Don't You Dear ??

Don't you want to feel the way I feel ?
Sometimes it sending shiver down my spine, like the cold ice in the winter..
But when it gone, it seems like I'm lost in the desert without the rain..
The desire to drink grows stronger, and that wine seducing me to kiss your lips..
Because your lips is so red, more than the blood in my vein...

Can you feel what I feel ?
When I look deeper into the mirror, I see the flash of memory..
The empty memory, will you give the last love to make it completely ?
There is a place for me and you, where no one can tear us apart..

And darling... Do you feel what I feel ?
Tell me why I can't live without you ?
In this cruelest place, we hold to our fragile love..
We have seen the weakness of our trust, and we crash into madness..

There is so much things to do as we hold to our forlorn hopes.
The way you smile, tearing all my worries.
And now I believe that you are the only one for me.

Will you feel what I feel ?
Far from my consciousness, come into my dream land.
Hunting me, disturbing me,
Such a moment that I never want.

Can you feel what I feel ?
When I look deeper into the mirror, I see the flash of memory..
The empty memory, will you give the last love to make it completely ?
There is a place for me and you, where no one can tear us apart..
A beautiful utopia where the aiedail shining brightly..

There is so much things to do as we hold to our forlorn hopes
The way you love, killing the wounds in me.

Join me in death

Baby, join me in Death...

We are so young.
Our lives have just begun,
But already we are considering,
Escape from this world.

And we've waited for so long,
For this moment to come.
Were so anxious to be together,
Together in Death.

Won't you Die tonight for Love?
Baby, join me in Death.
Won't you Die?
Baby, join me in Death.
Won't you Die tonight for Love?
Baby, join me in Death.

This world is a Cruel place,
And we're here only to lose.
So before life tears us apart let,
Death bless me with you.

Won't you Die tonight for love?
Baby, join me in Death.
So would you Die?
Baby, join me in Death.
Won't you die tonight for love?
Baby, join me in Death.
Join me in Death.

This life it ain't worth living.
Join me
This life ain't worth living.

Won't you Die tonight for Love?
Baby, join me in Death.
So will you die?
Baby, join me in Death
Won't you Die tonight for Love?
Baby, join me in Death.

Baby, join me in Death.

Come Closer

I'm laying in the endless pain, by your endless torments.
I just sleeping here waiting for the final time.
When all the things that have haunting me will be lost inside your light.
Still I can see the thing that is hiding behind your shadow.
Makes me cold and pale -the highest pain that I feel.
Come closer.. find me laying here, in the grave with my eyes close.
Or I will come to make you see, how pale my skin now.

You completely know that I'm not a little girl anymore.
But you lying to me like I'm blind.
Look ! I can see that the world isn't blue now.

Oh my dearest love.. you are my beautiful mistakes.
I'm not even want you to kiss this lips.
Taste the poison that hurting you deeply.
This venomous will bring you to my grave.
Oh I love the way you ruin your life.

Come closer and look deeper to this fragile heart.
My dearest love...
This world will never make us together.
But I love you somehow my beautiful.

Hesitation

The face that I saw at the last afternoon, take me deeper into the unbearable emotion.
I gently close my eyes, knowing that you smile to me.
Something that I've never felt before, bring me to the deepest hesitation.
You came when I feel cold.
But how can you touch this heart,if your another pieces in your heart screaming your name !
Tell me why...
Tell me the reason why you whisper to me..

I'm trying to find someway, leading you come closer.
Though I know, I will fall at the end without any answer from you.
But if you could only realize, this eyes keep you here.

Are you the one that I've been searching for ?

January 8, Friday 12.18 am

I'm silently praying that I want to meet you once again.
My beloved one who has lost beyond the time,
If I could only see your brown eyes now,
I want to say this honestly words deep from my heart.

You’re falling away from me.
But your presence still close beside me and this longing feeling keeps you here in my heart.
And even you have gone. This heart won't ever changes.

Countless days, alone with the memories dazzling my eyes,
My dearest love I want to live with you forever.
Embrace our memories that slowly haze before my eyes.
I want to say this sweet word to you.

You’re falling away from me.
But your presence still close beside me, for my longing feelings keep you here in my heart..
You've gone away but this heart will never change somehow.

silent sounds

7, Thursday 8.49pm

A sweet candy is killing me..
With his venomous trough my veins..
I'm laying weakness in the death of afternoon..
without a simply mercy..

Can't you hear me crying ?!
Can't you hear me screaming ?!
will I give in a wonderful smile to you..
away from where I stand I know I can find my cure..


21.16

The feeling that never changes..
still alone without the answer from no one question..
something hiding under my pillow..
takes me deeper to the hesitation..
before I lost and can't find my way..
I want you to take me away from this surfeit place..
The coldness cain through my eyes..
Dazzled by a wonderful memories..
Blurry my eyes from another brown eyes..
My suffocation heart die without you..
before I fall and shattered..
I want you to take me away from this stilness place..
away from the silent loneliness..
Gazing deeper to a new hope with a thousand smiles..
So I can believe of what I feel..
The feeling that never changes..
still praying with the crescent moon shining pale..